False Start.

[Warning: This post is not directly related to food science/food industry]

As I awaken 30 minutes ahead of my 10am alarm and start to prepare for an interview, 2 words entered my brain.

False Start.

In HS, I was either going to be a gym teacher or a chef. I left HS and entered one of the top culinary institutes in the world, but my aversion to 70 hr work weeks and onions made me realize that chef wasn't my dream.

False Start.

I transfer from Johnson & Wales to Ohio State for one quarter before being informed that I didn't get any financial aid, so I became a member of management at KFC where I had been working.

False Start.

A couple years later, I decided I wanted to go back and get my degree no matter what, even if it broke me. I was pushed by family to take any kind of job opening, even if it was something I didn't want to do. I talked myself into accepting a role as a plant manager trainee for Cargill in one of their feed mills... in Vermont.

False Start.

Back to Ohio, I moved in with a friend in his mom's basement. It was the loneliest place in the world. I finally got a job in Fairfield and moved to scenic Norwood. 3 months later, I left that job.

False Start.

I worked several other short term gigs, selling cars, driving rail workers, helping with the Census until I was no longer able to pay rent in my bed big ridden Norwood apt.

False Start.

I moved in with my poor parents living in Ashville, OH(where we had NO roots) and eventually worked a few short term jobs until I got hired on by Kroger for their Quality Training program in Cincinnati. I moved into The Banks luxury apartments on the Ohio river for 30 days, then into my current Clifton apartment. After 5 months of disagreements with how my training was being(or not being) handled, I left.

False Start.

Several short term jobs later and here I am, about to interview for a seasonal position with Macy's on Fountain Place, unloading trucks. I'm actually debating whether or not to wear a suit. Every minute of today hurts. I'm sad and bitter and want none of this. While I'm tired of the false starts, I know there has to be something better than unloading trucks for $8.15/hr. I have a value that is somewhat intangible and doesn't appear on a resume, but nobody is hiring a 'Sit In On Meetings, Make Sarcastic One Liners, and Come Up With Great Ideas' Specialist. I'm hoping another interview comes along to save me from this job IN CASE I am offered it, or from the shame of NOT being offered it.

[Despite what I know about food, I am not awesome at other parts of my life.  I'm just putting my experiences out there, so that maybe other will identify with them and feel at least a little bit comforted.]